Chester
Dear Brenda,
On Saturday, October 9 th , I rode Chester out of his paddock and into the wide open, unfenced, green space of the hay field. To many people, this might not sound like the most important and most thrilling ride I've ever had. But it was. It brings tears to my eyes when I think about where we started and the wonderful people who contributed to getting us where we are.
Should I remind you where Chester and I stood in our relationship when we called you? He had just turned 5, all 1600 pounds and 17.1 hands of him. I'd had him for almost a year and we had a working relationship, including some trust of each other. All that changed during the "Easter Incident" when this stubborn woman and that stubborn horse went head to head in a battle of wills. Neither of us won, in fact both of us lost. Lost every smidgen of any relationship we had. We were mad at each other, scared of each other and sometimes just plain didn't like each other. I was wondering why I ever got him to begin with and he was thinking that I was just one more "owner" in a life full of too many owners and too many barns.
I called you. I could still see something in his eyes, buried deep inside him, that haunted me. I wanted to give him a chance to be heard. I was thinking about giving him up to someone more experienced, for his own good. Someone who could find the horse that lived deep inside him. I was afraid though, that someone new could be just another "owner" in Chester's life.
Oh, the things he told you, it just broke my heart. You explained why he had trouble trusting me. That, in his experience, he had no reason to believe in me. He assumed I was just like the others and he saw no reason to develop a relationship since he would just be sent somewhere else sooner or later. He was afraid, beaten down and hopeless. His bad habit of whipping his rear end around to your face was a response to fear but also to cause fear in the recipient effectively eliminating any trust, but designed also to keep people at a distance so he wouldn't be hurt again.
Brenda, without your insights and guidance, Chester would not be with me right now. Because of you, Chester has a home for life. I started to believe in him, worked him real slow, with lots of praise. The more he learns, the faster he learns. The faster he learns, the more I learn and the more we trust each other. I can not explain how much this process has meant to me, to both of us. We would not be going through this process without your communication skills.
Please accept our heartfelt Thanks! I finally have my dream horse and Chester has his dream "home" and a partner for life. We have a lot more to learn, but we have a lifetime to do it in.
-T.J.V.